An Open Letter to Amy and Tina

Dear Amy and Tina,

I would like to begin by stating how big a fan I am of your work, individually and together. 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation are two of the finest sitcoms of the last decade, in no small part due to your tireless work and mastery of your craft artistry. Mean Girls captured an age so marvelously I thought I was looking in a mirror every time Lindsay Lohan graced the screen (if that mirror had a fiery red mane etched onto it), and those ten minutes from Hamlet 2 were full of on-the-nose portrayal of the ACLU. And your balls. And don’t get me started on the unsung cinematic masterpiece Baby Mama. That… oh, man… I mean…

So it’s with a heavy heart that I feel the need to address a recent addition to your resumes, and something that left me feeling rather unsettled and demeaned, and something that I have not till recently been able to stir up the courage to address.

As you may or may not be aware of, this past January you hosted the Golden Globe Awards Ceremony, as a duo, the two of you, together. I, like most people in America (and the Netherlands), was thrilled about this news, and awaited what was sure to be a stellar evening with bated breath and extended pants. The announcer called your names, and there you both were: Tina in a stunning emerald gown, Amy with those sleeves. The telecast began promising, a joke or two about substance abuse (something that anyone will tell you is a goldmine for comedy), a light-hearted jab at the uggos on TV. And best of all, a joke supporting girl-on-girl competition, because truth is funny!

And then it quickly took a turn when you rattled off a joke about Ricky Gervais:

Ricky Gervais could not be here tonight, because, um, he is no longer technically in show business.— Tina Fey.
We want to assure you that we have no intention of being edgy or offensive…— Amy Poehler

Now, I get it. Ricky Gervais made headlines by doing what he was expected to do, poking harsh fun at the people of Hollywood. But does that mean that all men are unsuited to host any awards ceremony of any kind because their attempts to be edgy can only come off as offensive? If that’s what was implied here, then it is grossly off the mark and an unfair characterization of the male sex.

You went on to applaud how great a year 2012 was for women in television, citing Lena Dunham as a prime example. There’s no denying that Ms. Dunham has had tremendous success, and rightly so (Girls is a great replacement for Fresh Air when I need something droning on in the background as I clean my apartment- or did you just assume that men no know how clean?). But you never once acknowledged the contributions men have made to television this year, most notably Charlie Sheen in Anger Management and the hard-working fellas of Work It. You of all people should know how difficult it is for anyone to churn out high-quality work while wearing Spanx. And to add insult to injury, you made the following joke at the expense of a Hollywood legend:

Kathryn Bigelow, nominated tonight. I haven’t really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron.— Amy Poehler

This joke is offensive on two counts: 1) you’re clearly assuming that James Cameron was an abusive alcoholic husband because you watched one episode of Beverly Hills 90210, and you assume all men are like that (and there is nothing funny about domestic abuse, I mean seriously), and 2) Are you implying that three years of marriage to a man is the equivalent of mass terrorist acts enforced by Osama bin Laden? “All men are terrorists”, is that the message you’re sending out with this joke? Not only is it untrue and out of date, it is downright offensive. I am offended, as a man who is not a terrorist, and is a man.

Shortly thereafter, you made up for it a little by acknowledging the roller coaster of success that Ben Affleck has had this year, but I was a little put off by your lead-in (referring to “all the gorgeous Hollywood stars”) and its demeaning approach to Affleck, even if it’s clearly an at-face-value compliment that really means only that someone is “gorgeous” and is saying absolutely nothing about their talent and intelligence, because that would require more than just one word, and you were just making a compliment, and I am offended.

And what was with that James Franco dig? Nevermind that he was a terrible, detached host who clearly didn’t want to be there, by saying that Anne Hathaway looked “alone and abandoned” clearly means that all men are good for is to cut and run. Color me offended.

The Hunger Games was the biggest film of this year, and also what I called the six weeks it took me to get into this dress.— Tina Fey
Ang Lee’s been nominated for Best Director for the Life of Pi, which is what I’m gonna call the six weeks after I take this dress off.— Amy Poehler.

Classy and topical, very well done.

But then you lost me again with the following joke:

Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of all my sexual nightmares.— Tina Fey.

There is nothing funny about grouping all men together with Quentin Tarantino and assuming that all men will haunt your dreams and disgust you sexually because we made Jackie Brown and that part of the script for True Romance. Please don’t demean us that way, and please try to see us as more than sexual objects.

I could go on and on about the evening- about how Jodie Foster was given the Cecil B DeMille Award (why was it a woman and not a man, as well?), even if the award is named for a man and Jodie Foster deserves it; I could cry foul to the Hollywood Foreign Press for giving Adele the Golden Globe for Best Original Song for Skyfall over any of the men, even if she was the by far the most deserving (this is a clear case of sex favoritism). And don’t get me started on how Anne Hathaway won Best Supporting Actress, but Samuel L Jackson was completely overlooked in the category.

I know, I know, it’s been over a month. Maybe I am behind the times, and as many thoughtful, intelligent and level-headed friends have pointed out, perhaps I’m displaying a degree of oversensitivity in a time when, for better or worse, humor of all types occasionally does draw on previously standing stereotypes, generalization and objectification to make people laugh, think, or both. And maybe, just maybe I’m looking way too deep into it, finding offense in something that is really nothing further than a one-liner that members of both sexes seemed to enjoy and in some cases were in on, recognizing that this is the 21st Century where the best way to address sexism is to laugh at how far society has come and move on, not letting it stop any of us from doing what we’re doing. Because we’re adults, who can’t have it both ways, but can be incredibly on the nose.

In conclusion, Miss’ Poehler and Fey, I await your official apology, along with a signed DVD copy of the fourth season of Parks and Recreation and a Who Farted? t-shirt. Thank you and good night.

Sincerely,

Butt-Hurt Baby*

PS. Why couldn’t you be more like Glenn Close? She knows how to properly offend.

*You can also find Butt-Hurt Baby at the following blogs:

— Seth McFarlane and Homophobia: Why His Objectification of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles Matters

— That’s Not Funny: Barbara, Starr and the Sexism of The View

— The Huffington Post

— Hot Tool Lovers 87 Tumblr page

— Home Depot